From Horsemail To Hotmail

Hey folks,

In my boxing get-up at the gym

Only our third full day in Chiang Mai, and already there is more to report on our crazy adventures! Yesterday morning, we woke up super early at 5:45AM and headed to a gym to learn all about Muay Thai boxing. This was something we changed in our tour instead of going to botanical and butterfly gardens because it more suited our tastes. I couldn't be happier that we switched because it was an amazing authentic Thai experience and something I will cherish forever! We started with a skipping warm-up and then were greeted by a gym regular who showed us some basic moves while we waited for the trainer to arrive. We stood in front of the mirror and watched our form, all decked out in our boxing shorts that we purchased at the Sunday Market. Once the trainer arrived, a man who seemed to be American but who has lived in Thailand for quite some time (and has boxed for quite some time; he had hardly any teeth left!) explained the basic philosophy of the art of Muay Thai. Essentially, Muay Thai can't be taught, only practiced, and technique is completely individual based on personal preference. Contrary to other boxing methods, there is not bouncing or dancing while you move, and movements are made more in a shuffling manner using the back foot (in my case, my right) as a pivot. He showed us proper rotation and the importance of not moving forward too much when jabbing, but rather keeping the back straight and using the feet to advance in an actual fight. After a bit more explanation, I got a chance to try my skills in the ring. My trainer was a 14 year old kid who was actually surprisingly hard on me and got me working up a killer sweat. Whenever I let me hands down from my face, he would give me a sharp jab to the gut, so I learned quickly to keep my jaw protected. For close to 20 minutes, I railed on this sturdy little teenager, using jabs, right hooks, uppercuts, right and left kicks, elbows and knees. By the end, I was so tired I had to drink about 2 litres of water to recuperate before moving to the bag. There I was joined by another Canadian on the other side of the bag who was about twice my bulk and made me look fairly insignificant as I kicked the bag as hard as I could. Nevertheless, I majorly improved my technique and will be checking out gyms when I return to Vancouver. If for nothing else, Muay Thai is an incredible workout!

After the boxing, we had a quick stop at the hotel to shower before heading down to the Ping River for a boat cruise in what are called Scorpion-Tailed boats. We had a fantastic tour guide named Samak who was both informative and hilarious. We learned about the teak log and that it takes one log per boat, boats take four years to make, and they used to transport supplies to and from Bangkok (like salt which was scarce in Chiang Mai). He explained that horses used to be a common form of transport as well, and gave us a great quote, saying that Chiang Mai has progressed from "Horsemail to Hotmail." As we drifted down the river, we saw men fishing, kids swimming in the river, the only 6-star hotel in Chiang Mai (which charges $800 a night), and a t-shirt shop on the edge of the water that sells shirts for only 2 Baht each! That's 15 shirts for $1 CDN ladies and gentlemen! After the cruise was over, we got out at Samak's home and he showed us around his garden before feeding us sticky rice, mango, and lychee juice. In his garden were many interesting and funny plants, the best being the Man-Tree, the Woman-Tree, and the Chiang-Lady plant, which shrivels up and retreats when you touch it. He also displayed to us the original use of the Chinese finger-trap, a long weaved staff that was used to catch snakes by placing small frogs in the end part of it, and some snake whiskey, supposedly very helpful for men who are suffering from troubles in the bedroom and a good alternative to Viagra.

After the boat cruise, we stuffed ourselves silly at a buffet included in our tour, checked out two more factories (one leather, one cotton) and then got dropped off by X-Man at the Chiang Mai Zoo & Aquarium. The aquarium is the biggest one in Asia and was quite a sight to behold but it was the zoo that really impressed me because we don't really have a good one in BC. The sheer size of the park was incredible, and after walking over 6km in the blistering hot humidity, we finished the circuit. We saw macaques, a hippo and a pygmy hippo, giraffes, camels, rams, ostriches, emus, a Bengal tiger, koala bears, crocodiles, deer, and more. The highlight was definitely stumbling upon a tortoise mating session though, slow and steady winning the race and making the most ridiculous sounds in the world! Due to bad timing, we missed out on seeing the panda but maybe we can stop again later in the week. After the zoo we had a five minute stop at the hotel to drop off our stuff before we were off again to a Khantoke dinner nearby. Basically, you sit at low tables with buffet-style food and there are dances and shows going on during the meal. There was a fingernail dance, a candle dance, and a sword dance, the sword one being the most enthralling. I capped off the night with a one-hour Thai massage to get rid of my soreness from boxing before retiring for the evening. Most of it was quite painful but it feels good today and I'm pretty sure she cracked every crackable bone in my body!

One of the ladies at the Karen long-neck village

This morning was jam-packed with more activities, starting off with a trip to a Karen hill tribe village, where the long-neck women reside. These women begin wearing a bronze neck brace from the age of four and continue to do so for their whole life as part of their culture. Originally, the brace warded off tiger bites, but now it is simply a custom and draws many tourists in to witness the unique tradition. Our 500 Baht entry fee went completely to supporting the village, as all of the families living there are refugees from Myanmar, which is currently undergoing civil war. After the village, we stopped at the Monkey Kingdom, enchanted by a little show in which monkeys completed crazy feats. Some of the tricks included: untying a rope from my wrist, gathering coconuts from the top of a tree, slam dunks and three-point shoot-out in basketball, push-ups and sit-ups, lifting weights, guessing numbers we had chosen as an audience, and collecting donations for monkey balm with proper change for those who didn't have it! The monkeys were adorable and seemed to be happy although at times, the practice seemed a little inhumane. Next, it was time for Snake Kingdom where we witnessed snake wranglers at their best. The specific spot we journeyed to is where the beginning of Rambo was filmed with Stallone a few years ago and it lived up to its reputation. We got to wear pythons around our necks and watched in awe as the wrangler kissed a King Cobra, the most poisonous snake in the world. At one point, the trainer lost control of the snake and it lunged out of the pit towards my foot, scaring the bejeezus out of me as I looked into the trainer's eyes and saw uncertainty. That is never a good sign when looking at someone who is responsible for your safety! Considering our adrenaline was already pumping, we continued the high with a stop at the shooting range just down the road. We each took 30 shots with three different guns, two were hand pistols and one was a revolver. This was my first time firing a gun and it was quite nerve-wracking, especially due to the lack of instruction. However, the feel of the gun in my hand was somewhat exhilarating, almost too much so when my gun malfunctioned and shot two bullets at once, the second one going into the wood right above me due to the kickback from the first. When I got my paper back at the end, my grand total was 23 shots out of 30 landing on the paper, not terrible for a first time, but definitely not fantastic either. Despite the desire to improve, I have a feeling it will be my last time on the range...

Taking my first shot at the shooting range

Now it's relaxation time for the afternoon before our jungle trek starts tomorrow. We're off to visit tribal villages, go rafting, and ride some elephants. Stay tuned for updates!

Ciao for now,

Max